Dead Bananas

'Cause I love gorillas, and my friends too, I picked up my phone and decided to book tickets for a documentary onThursday: ''Lin: 1, Garcia: 2, Mary: 2, Paul: 1.''

The never-say-die reception lady did not want to understand Paul's last name while I was trying to clearly pronounce Desgrippes.* So I said: "Let's name the guy Paul", and she said: "Ah! like Mary." So I said: ''Not really, but we are both French.", which made her laugh hysterically. So she asked: "Do you have a phone number for this reservation?", so I said: "0634xxxxxx", and she said: "Ah ah! same phone as Mary!" So I said: "Not really, but we are one single clique - One for all, and all for one! - kinda three musketeers, and Paul is the fourth one", which made her laugh hysterically again. She must be crazy.

1 hour later, M. working for Melkweg called me, and she said: "We just noticed that you have booked tickets for Bananaz, but I am afraid it is actually impossible to reserve for this event". I started to laugh hysterically, so I said: "I am afraid, I am actually very disappointed". And she said: "Well, you don't have our 5 Days Off passe-partout, do you?". So I said: "Well, you don't want to pass over forever, do you? ''. She quick-fired an explanation and I quick-fired my gun: ''Bang! You're dead.''**

Everything happened in Dutch, the rest is translation.

* I don't like this somehow modern habit to put one's first name everywhere instead of the last name. I am not buying coffee at Starbucks, am I?
** Alfred Hitchcock, 1961.